Monday, November 21, 2011

1994 - Nandan Nilekani’s UID project to now collect stool samples for better biometric signature - Unreal Times

Saturday, November 19th, 2011 | Posted by UT Correspondent


To many, Nandan's new proposal may not come as a breath of fresh air

Responding quickly to the Home Ministry’s criticism that the biometric data collected by UID project may not be 100% reliable and therefore entail security risks, Nandan Nilekani today announced a change in methodology to address this concern. The UID project will now collect stool samples of every resident of India, extract the inherent DNA, and use it as his or her fool-proof signature. “Stool based biometric identification is 100% accurate and provides the most reliable and foolproof method of establishing a person’s identity,” said Nilekani. “Obviously it should be used only as a last resort if finger print and iris scans prove unreliable,” added the former Infosys CEO.

However, the development has raised concerns over invasion of privacy. “I don’t want the Government of India to know… for that matter even I don’t want to know what my shit consists of. This is a complete violation of internationally accepted norms of privacy and individual dignity,” said Thomas Abraham, President of the Society of Protection of Privacy.

The Home Ministry isn’t convinced about the security implications of this methodology either. “Quite frankly, this is a shitty idea,” said Chidambaram in an acidic tone. “Where are you going to store the fecal matter of 1.2 crore people and how are you going to ensure that one man’s business doesn’t get mixed up in another’s? If there’s mis-identification in even 1% of the cases, shit will hit the fan!” said the Home Minister.

Several other cabinet ministers have echoed the Home Minister’s concerns, resulting in a divided cabinet bickering over the approval of Nilekani’s new methodology. Matters came to a quick close when Congress President Sonia Gandhi okayed the idea and ordered all the Congress leaders to submit their stool samples pronto to kick-start the ambitious project. The cracking of the whip by the Congress president caused most Congress leaders to shit in their pants and comply almost immediately. PM Dr. Manmohan Singh, however, has requested for a few extra days to submit his product in view of the high pressure nature of his job.

Congress leader, Digvijay Singh, was the first to finish his assignment, and gleefully handed over his fecal matter to UID authorities within minutes of his leader’s order. The veteran leader’s sample, however, was returned by UID authorities, after the analysis engine identified the contents of the sample to be chemically similar to that of a bull.